Archives for the month of: July, 2013

Have you ever had a bad date? When we are young, everyone tells us to meet our Prince Charming while in college. “If you don’t know your husband by your Senior year—you have a better chance of being hit by a bus then finding a husband!” I was raised in a time warp somewhere between “The Help” and “Footloose”.  No stress there!

As an adult—dating becomes interesting.  Case in point—years ago—a married friend set me up.  Her theory?  If a man is single— I’m single—two single people should be together—right? Wrong!

So here I am agreeing to a blind date —all of my instincts telling me to stay home and spend time with my trusty canine.  She didn’t want to throw me completely to the wolves–so it was decided we’d double date to the Symphony. I loved the symphony, so why not?

We arrived at the amphitheater. My date was waiting at the bar—nerves must have made him thirsty as he was drinking like a dog on a hot day! As we walked up to make introductions—I noticed his shirt was untucked —and his slacks were dropped enough to allow his horizontal smile to shine in public. He smiled—put out his hand and shouted “Very meet to Wow you’re hot!”—the alcohol induced slurring and spitting causing much attention. He brought his outdoor voice inside. Joy—my date was the male alter ego of Roseanne Barr!

We filed in and took our seats. As the symphony started to play—he leaned onto me yelling — “Why are you single?”—”I think you’re hot!”—”Is that your God hair color?” —”Are you on a diet like most women?”

As I was contemplating how this wonderful gem had managed to avoid being snatched up—it happened—INTERMISSION!

Everyone emptied into the lobby for a drink. I slammed down a glass of Pinot Noir—watched my date fall to the floor—excused myself from the group and walked home.

Dating as an adult is like a box of chocolates—sometimes you’re going to be forced to taste one you don’t like! It doesn’t stop you from grabbing another one in the hopes it might just be the perfect flavor on the next try!


Stumble Steps

Have you ever noticed when something embarrassing happens you’re never alone? The other day—while walking out of the office — down the stairwell—I was speaking to one of the young girls from another department. Quickly noticing she had exchanged her heels for flip flops—we began to talk about shoe comfort.

I’m one of those odd women that has more grace in heels. Although I love flip flops—walking forward in them is a challenge. Tripping down is more what is accomplished.

As we spoke about grace and tripping—walking down the stairs—me in front and her two steps behind—suddenly I felt my ankle give. You know the feeling—when the realization hits that falling is inevitable! Fall I did! I went flying forward—down two steps—my pocketbook flying into the air— and landed on all fours like a dog at the bottom of the stairs. My butt in the air—of course—the worst position possible!

Completely embarrassed—I immediately jumped to my feet—laughed it off and kept going. My fear—tomorrow the entire office would be whispering about my fall from grace. Maybe I could find another job by tomorrow—disguise myself—call in sick for a week until something new distracted everyone—what should I do?

The next day—nothing. Not a word. Maybe I managed to slide by unscathed!

Three days later —while speaking to a colleague—strength came up in conversation. “You are tougher than anyone here!” She professed. Why would she say that? She knew very little about me. She continued, “the other day you fell down the stairs—no blood or broken bones—in fact—no ambulance was needed! You merely jumped up—shook it off—never missed a beat and kept going! I’m not going to mess with you!”

What I thought would be an embarrassing moment —turned into a life defining moment. Sometimes in life we have to just shake it off—move on! Afterwards—let whatever happens—happen at will—lastly, always remember to hold your head high and strut!

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