Archives for the month of: August, 2014

Did you know you can’t think and be angry at the same time? It’s true!  It has been medically proven; the human body is incapable of both at the same time.

Not long ago, a friend of mine and I had gone for a long, challenging bike ride. Before you get the idea of a serene, therapeutic ride through the woods, it’s quite the polar opposite. For some reason, we feel the need to race each other the entire trail. This day in particular, we had challenged each other for a total of 20 miles—-after which we took a dip in the pool at my friend’s house. By the time all was over, it was later in the evening—-completely dark.

While my friend utilized the outdoor shower—-I went to my vehicle and retrieved my bag. I was in dire need of a shower. There is nothing better than an outdoor shower—-unless of course it’s November. I dropped my bag inside the door, shed my sweaty clothes, wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the shower. My friend passed by me and back into the house. I was in heaven as the water fell on me. It was a great night. The sky was clear. A light breeze brought the smell of summer into the air. This would be an extra long shower.

When finished, I wrapped the towel around me and stepped out of the shower. It was then that I realized —-I was standing outside—-my clothes were in the house. Now this probably doesn’t sound like an issue—-just open the slider and walk into the house—-right? Well that might be the case if it were a normal house. However, my friend worries about intruders and therefore installed a security system somewhat similar to that of the White House. The only thing missing are the secret service agents. When you close a door behind you—-they lock. If you know the code, you can walk completely around the house to the side door, input the code into the keypad and open the door. If you do not know the code—-you’re stuck outside. Which is what I was—-in nothing but a towel. Thank goodness for towels!

I knocked on the door—-nothing. I could have called from my cell—-it was in the house. Nice and secure. I could have driven to my house, except my vehicle’s key fob was—-you guessed it—-inside the house. Everything I needed, including my friend to open the door, was inside the house—-locked up tight as a military arsenal. My friend—-no where in sight.

So there I am—-in a towel—-barefoot—-walking around the house knocking on doors and windows —-ringing the doorbell—-in a failing attempt to get the attention of my friend. The house was completely secure. On the other hand, I was becoming dinner for every mosquito in the area. Maybe a neighbor would see me and call the police. No such luck. Where are nosy neighbors and police officers when you need them?

My first reaction—-absolute anger. Hello?! Whatever happened to checking on people?!

As I calmed down—-the realization that ‘everything broken down becomes simple’ came to mind. A keypad was numbers—-numbers had combinations—-remember combinations he told you in the past. Think—-THINK!  All I had to do was remember any combination of numbers that seemed relevant. I walked up to the the keypad and started inputting number combinations.  The first code, failed. The second, failed. The third—-the green light displayed and I heard the beautiful click of the door opening! I had opened the door! It doesn’t seem like opening a door would be so joyous. However, I felt as though I had just won a gold medal at the Olympics. Not that I know what that feels like, but this had to be close.

Seconds later, I was in the house and wearing clothes! Where was my friend you ask? Sitting in the bedroom watching television. Not a single one of my knocks, nor the doorbell I rang 20 times had been heard. He looked up and said, “That was a very long shower you took.”  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to giggle or seriously injure him!

I laughed, sat down and decided to say nothing. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. After all, I was impressed with myself. I managed to think my way around a state of the art security system. What my friend doesn’t know, won’t hurt him. Right?

Remember, you can’t think and be angry at the same time. Sometimes, it’s better to think than react—-believe in the power you have within yourself—-and always have your cell phone and clothes near at all times!


Have you ever decided to eat healthy?

Why is it women are always on a “diet”.  A statement you will never hear a female say, “I need to gain weight!” I’m fairly sure if I did happen by that statement it would cause my brain to malfunction.

Recently, I made a commitment to increase my exercise regime and eat healthy—-ok healthier.  There are some things a female should not give up.  Things like chocolate, the occasional french fry, nacho night and Starbucks runs. These keep one’s sanity in check.

So in my newfound “healthy” mode, I decided to be proactive and hard boil eggs to have for a quick grab healthy protein snack. This seems intelligent—-Right?

Please allow me to digress. Two days ago, I found an aromatherapy shower gel claiming to give “energy”. Of course I had to buy it. Who doesn’t want “energy”?

Now back to boiling the eggs. I had just walked in the door from a 6 mile run. Knowing it takes approximately 15 minutes roughly, I decided to be efficient and boil eggs while taking my shower. It feels pretty good to multi-task successfully! The eggs were boiling and up the stairs to the shower I went.

My new “energy” shower gel smelled wonderful. The smell—-very relaxing. Walking out of the shower I felt like a wet noodle. The same feeling you have after a great massage. As I sat down on my bed, I thought to myself, “I’ll just close my eyes for a second.” The energy shower gel was more on the level of tryptophan then caffeine.

I awoke to a very loud explosion and the smell of sulfer. THE EGGS!

I ran down the stairs to find my kitchen had become an episode of kitchen nightmares! Did you know when eggs boil to the point of all water evaporating they explode?  Completely blow up. I had an entire week of boiled eggs in pieces on the ceiling—-cabinets—-oven—-floor—-countertops—-everywhere —-and even places you can’t imagine.

I grabbed the pot from the stove as the last egg exploded. What a mess. My “energy” shower gel had backfired. My kitchen looked as if a food fight had taken place. After 3 hours of cleaning—-I have the cleanest kitchen on the block! My “health” kick no longer involves hard boiled eggs. Lastly, my “energy” shower gel has been changed to “tranquility”.

Sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best option. Sometimes you are better off taking life one step at a time, eating chocolate and enjoying life. If you try to multitask too many things at once—-well—-things can explode.

The next item on my health food kick—-salad!