Have you ever received a phone call from a hysterical person you could barely understand? Ever wonder what would happen if technology mixed with nature and went haywire?

I was sitting in my office, enjoying the silence, when my phone rang.  On the other end was a friend of mine resembling a drunken banshee.  It took a few moments to calm her down enough to speak clearly.  Once calm—she began to explain her morning.

Recently, she had adopted the most adorable puppy.  The perfect puppy, in her mind, as her fur baby recently had graduated from sleeping in a confined space to roaming the entire house.

Sometime in the night the perfect puppy had created a “land mine” somewhere in the house—the origin of the crime remains a mystery to this day.  By “land mine” we mean a poop pile.  My friend is adamant this is the first time ever her perfect puppy had created a land mine in the house.  “Maybe I forgot to let her out before bedtime”, she questioned.  Whatever the cause, one thing we know for sure —a land mine was created and deposited on the floor.  Why have I nicknamed it a “land mine” you ask?

My friend always has to have the latest and greatest in technology.  This includes a contraption called a Roomba.  For those of you unaware of what a Roomba is—it is a robotic vacuum programmed to run at a certain time every day.  This particular household the robot is  programmed to run in the middle of the night.  Remember the “land mine”?  The Roomba took a solid run right over it.  What followed was a mess of mass proportions!  And there is where it began—a pooptastrophe of mass proportions!

Those of you familiar with the Roomba know it runs over every square inch of flooring.  In this case, once it hit the land mine, it proceeded to spread the land mine over everything it touched.  Thus creating a layer of pooptistic proportions over the entire floor.

This layer was on floorboards, rugs, tile, wood, furniture, toys, shoes—anything the Roomba touched—layered with poop!  My friend’s Roomba pic resembled a mudder truck just after a heavy rain!

Apparently, the perfect puppy felt the Roomba was a toy as she proceeded to frolick around the house playing in the mess.  My friend awoke the next morning to a puppy on the bed covered in “mud” as she put it.  Unfortunately for her, it was far from mud and was now all over her bedding.  She stepped out of bed to a gritty surface on the floor and a smell that hit her in the head like a brick.

She immediately cleaned the puppy not realizing her home had been Roomba’d to a point of disaster!  Once the puppy was clean, she entered the rest of the house.  As the Roomba sat looking like a mud crusted truck in the entry—the rest of the house was encrusted.

As her mind processed what had happened—she grabbed her phone—ran from the house—and called me.  That is when I heard the banshee on the phone.  Her entire home was layered in poop.  The smell must have been horrific!

“Poop!”—“Everywhere!”—“Disaster!”—“Help!”—she kept repeating.  As she calmed down, she was able to explain the details of the pooptastrophe that occurred.

“What do I do now?” She exclaimed wildly.  “Call a restoration company and go to a hotel!” I suggested.  After all, isn’t that what they are for?

So as her home was disinfected by a hazmat team, she and the greatest puppy of all time, took a mini vacation at a hotel.  Minus the Roomba of course.  And thus ended the pooptastrophe of epic proportions.

Modern technology can be wonderful!  Puppies are amazing!  Together, they can create messes yet to be invented!  The moral you ask?  Never let your Roomba run over poop—or never let your puppy roam the house alone!