Archives for the month of: April, 2020

 A day in lockdown—-with the exception of those working in an essential business we have all been in quarantine mode.  Social distancing—wearing a mask—washing hands for 20 seconds has become our reality.  A simple cough in public from allergies will lead to hysteria.  The popular chatter around what the “new normal” will look like once quarantine is over.

The positive effect—people are spending more time outside.  Walking—biking—jogging—anything to feel active.  People are meeting their neighbors for the first time in years.

Some are eating their way through the shutdown.

Others utilizing the time to exercise.

Dogs are thrilled with walks every hour.

Cats are dreading another day with humans in their house.

For some who live with a spouse and kids, isolation might be welcome. For others, the isolation will get to them.  It’s one thing to say you like being isolated from society.  It’s another thing to live it.  There is a difference between alone—and lonely.  One does not have to be by themself to feel lonely.  Some of the loneliest—have people around them nonstop.

There is a saying, “you have to live intentionally”.  Those words—live intentionally—my analyzer brain giving detailed examination.  There are some who think life is already preplanned—In life we just go through the motions.  It’s a way to justify being lazy.  If that were true—one could feasibly sit on a chair doing zero —their life would happen anyway.  To try at anything being irrelevant.

If it is true that we must live with a focused intent.  We must do the work to define our future.  Then we can’t be a leaf moving around in the water wildly.  We have to put oars in the water to guide ourself to where we want to go.  Staying centered—Calm—focused.

Sometimes to know where you want to go you have to know where you’ve been.  Society develops perceptions based on how we look—aesthetics.  I believe a lot of how we look is based on what’s happening internally.  If you’ve stayed engaged in life—stayed active—that’s part of it.  Nutrition is the other—food is medicine.  Healthy foods keep the body working at optimum performance.  Garbage in—the body breaks down.

Some say it’s easier to be older.  However, when we are older, we have many more memories to sift through.  If you’re lucky, they’re all good memories.

Make peace with whatever is looking at you in the mirror.  To be comfortable in your own skin. They say that comes with age.  In reality, that comes with wisdom.  The wisdom to not define yourself by family—money—status—or any other superficial theory.  The theories that weigh people down with superfluous ideas of success.  We should define ourselves by what really defines us—heart—trust—loyalty—our ability to love and be loved.  Legacies aren’t defined by wealth—they are defined by character.

In this virtual life we are living, one that affords remote working in pajamas and forces us to live within the lives we have built for ourselves—to solve the human equation—we need to add love—subtract hate—multiply good—and divide between truth and error!

Stay healthy!

 

 

 

We all have scars be it internal—external—or both.  Never be ashamed of a scar.  It only is a symbol you are stronger than what tried to hurt you.  The proximate cause of that scar can drop us to our knees at the time of the initial wound.  It’s up to us whether we look toward the light—or the dark.  Positive is always a better option than dark and negative.

No matter what you do—no matter how hard you work—no matter the level of your try—there will always be a negative darkness standing there to judge—doubt —talk bad about you.  Just smile and make the best decisions you can based on the facts you have at the time.  I stopped explaining— rather defending myself because the realization hit me that people understand only what they want to.  It’s not necessarily based on any facts.

If you’re an analyzer brain like me—we break it down in our minds.  To understand the rationale—the why—the what—the how.  To judge ourselves from others’ vantage points is not necessary.

An example—I once was told a cake was dry.  My brain immediately went to the why.  I asked, “was the cake made from a mix or from scratch?”  Which immediately prompted a harsh, “That’s a stupid question!  How dumb is that!  What a dumb question!”  What I heard was, “You’re an idiot! You moron!”   When in actuality, my question wasn’t dumb at all but part of a methodical process question.  If the cake was dry—my first thought to start the process was mix or scratch—scratch maybe too much flour—mix maybe baked too long—the person I was speaking to could have responded “let’s not break it down, it doesn’t matter” and all would have been fine.  Instead, the violent reaction caused me to pause—doubt myself—and think maybe I was dumb.  Before the conversation could continue — I heard “I’m hanging up.”  Several seconds passed—I sat in silence staring at the floor.  Thinking to myself, “Am I dumb?” Was my question dumb or had the person who angered at such a simple question been off kilter in their perception.  How people act defines who they are —how we react to their behavior is what defines ourselves.  We only have control of one side of that equation.

Everyone’s individual perception is their reality.  If they choose to think negatively or positively of us—it’s not within our control.

Don’t believe me?  Ever watched a parent with their child?  That’s perception vs reality in its truest form.  Their child could be eating paint but to that parent they have the brains to achieve a double doctorate and win the next Nobel Prize.

Stop explaining yourself —people understand only what they want.  You can’t fix them with self hate or by defending yourself.  Their perception is their reality no matter what you do.  All you can do is identify the filters through which you view the world.  Your opinion and perception of yourself —do not confuse those with facts and truths.  Change your perception of things and you will change your reality.  Never let anyone change those for you.

As Robert Bolano states, “People see what they want to see and what people want to see never has anything to do with the truth…”

My grandmother used to say, “never overlook the simplest sound of a bird—or flower most think of as a weed—if you can see beautiful things in humble places, where others see nothing, then you are granted a gift few people know….”

Never let other people’s limited perception define who you are.  You are essential.  Believe you can.

Hold your chin up—and strut!

Stay healthy!

 

If you’ve been following state and federal mandates, you are one of the millions of people quarantined in their home.  Social Distancing—Remote Working—Online Learning—have become phrases within daily conversations.

Never again will we look at our homes the same.  From this point forward, new home purchases will be determined by a question “would this structure be a good quarantine location?”

My first NYC apartment was 600 square feet.  My living/dining/kitchen area were one long hallway.  I could sit on my sofa and change the channel with my foot.  Remote unnecessary.  It was an adventure.  A great starter 3 story walk up apartment.  I named it my, “compartment”.   I can’t imagine being in quarantine there.

Admit it — you’ve thought about the perfect place to quarantine.

No matter where you are living—hopefully you are quarantined to protect the greater good.

Quarantined.  A word equestrians use when importing a new prospect.  Whomever would have thought we would be using that word for the greater populous of humans in the world.

People are losing track of how many days they’ve been “locked down”.

Conversations are started with “Day # of the lock down and all’s well.  How are you holding up?”

We are quickly learning why dog’s get bored in the house and tear up furniture.

Also, a dog doesn’t need 35 walks a day.  They too tire out.

People are having conversations with household appliances.  One even had a conference with the microwave and stove.

Someone mentioned they didn’t get an opinion from the washer because that thing puts a different spin on facts.

If you hear the door tell you, “you’re unhinged”—time to take a walk and get fresh air.

Since the fridge isn’t going to lock itself after your 10th ice cream trip— maybe try getting out of your jammies and into some workout clothes.  Get those endorphins flying.

People are virtual dating.  Virtual working.  Virtual shopping.  Virtual exercising.  Virtual living.  It is possible to live a full life and never exit your living space.  Who knew?

Others are dressing up to stay home.  Just to feel “normal”.

None of us can avoid this pandemic.  Some have been labeled a “germaphobe” because they want everyone to practice safe distancing and quarantine methods.  I don’t want to test nature and see if I can beat the virus when there are easy, common sense ways to avoid it.  If that makes me a dreaded “germaphobe” I’ll gladly take the title.

Germaphobes unite!

Those that say they don’t care aren’t educated or are misinformed.  No sane, prudent individual would carelessly run amuck not caring about getting infected or worse—whom they infect.  Those individuals should be forcibly quarantined.

One Midwest manager proudly posted a sign for those feeling ill to please stay home and “corn teen” yourself.  I’m hoping that misspell was a joke.

As we push through these interesting times, one thing is for sure.  Good humor—creative ways to stay busy—a sound mind—staying connected to people —are all necessary.

We will come out stronger—better equipped to handle whatever is thrown at us.

Stay healthy and quarantine!

 

 

 

 

There is only so much torture we can go through—the rest is just showing off.  My grandfather used to say that to me, typically after I had just been through something very difficult.  We are all going through difficult isolated times at the moment.  We have labeled it a pandemic. “Stay at Home” orders are in most states.  Again, there are different groups of people.  Those that are afraid to leave their homes in fear of exposing to the virus.  Another group are being cautious, yet still venturing out to find hiking trails they haven’t stepped on in years.  The last group, have no clue yet what quarantine or social distancing actually are.  Washing their hands properly is an anomaly.  Their thoughts are they will slap the virus in the face and whomever wins the battle is meant to be.  Those people need more than hand sanitizer.

No matter which of the groups you’re in—we are all in this together.

It’s in times like these we can ponder life.  We can make a situation as difficult or as simple as desired.  Kind of like fishing.  Think about it.  Fishing isn’t really about fishing.  It’s about letting things happen.  When you throw the line into the water, what happens next isn’t within your control.  You sit and wait.  The water treading against the boat, or the shoreline, whichever you happen to be.  The fisherman can sit in peace and enjoy the sounds of nature.  The calm nurturing their soul.  Or—people with no patience nor the ability to relax will stress out—become impatient—pull their line in and recast again and again all the while complaining about how bad the fishing is.  Their music blaring.  Stress emblazoning their bodies.  Until they no longer enjoy what fishing is all about.  Because in that moment of peaceful nature, we can either meditate in the calm.  Or we can push away the pain of our thoughts—and find something to fill the void until we are a ball of stress no longer able to bounce.

We are told that love is what life is all about.  Love is vulnerable—warm—sometimes painful.  A friend of mine was depressed the other day—she is single with no current prospects.  She’s jumped from one relationship to another—never spending time with herself.  Being by yourself isn’t “alone”.  Some of the loneliest people have been married for years.  We are individually capable of making ourselves happy or sad.  The people we choose to be create our sense of worth.  Afford us the ability to like ourselves—or criticize as well.  We are our most harsh critic.  What outside stimulus affects that is up to us.

So if it is love that unites us.  Walks us through the dark times.  Gives us the strength to push through to happiness again.  If it’s love that lifts us out of our darkness.  When people put their lies on you—attack you—try to take you out because of jealousy—hate—insecurity.  Remember to let the love from those around you carry you through.  Let it bring you back into the brightness of life.  The truth is, ignorance and hate hold hands.  They try to blind us.  Smother us with darkness.  They try to destroy the light of hope.  Take away what make us happy.  If we pay attention—drive the negative away—our love can consume the darkness and drive out the hate.  That love might not change everyone.  For their darkness runs too deep.  You might still run up against people who like their darkness, or have become so consumed they are blinded by it.  Their hate is all they know.  It’s what they survive on.

When we are exposed to that darkness and hate.  It’s in those moments we have to hold on to those that shine their light on us.  Fill us with love.  We have to hold on to those that give our life meaning—are there for us no matter the cost.  Because it’s that love that brings us hope.  If we live the truth—love completely—accept each other at who they truly are—then our lights will shine brightly and drive out all hate and darkness.

I’ve let darkness infect the great love of my life.  Let past experiences knee jerk my response to the darkness.  Let that darkness create suspicion —lies—tear what was genuine into shreds of doubt.  Only to awake to figure out it wasn’t the love that wasn’t pure—but the darkness trying to rip it apart.  If the past could be repeated—if mulligans were afforded in life—I would hold on to that love —hold on to the light from it—use it to push the darkness away.  My hope —that love remains and will find its way to shine  through again.  For true love never waivers.  It has peaks and valleys— but remains strong—and will always find its way to shine again.

Thoughts lead us to purpose.  When that purpose becomes strong enough—action takes over.  Actions form habits—which in time those habits build our character.  It’s that character that fixes our destiny.

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of their opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of their difficulties.

In this time of uncertainty—find your purpose—let it move you to action.  We have control of our destiny as long as we don’t allow darkness to invade it.

Stay Healthy!