Apologies for the gap in posting.  It’s been a crazy holiday season! 

Once the holiday parties were over and nothing was left to do except wait for the presents to be opened—I decided to grab some down time.  A movie sounded nice and uncomplicated.  Movies typically take no effort.  They supply a couple of hours of entertainment, with no effort on the audience except to stay awake and enjoy their favorite snacks.  Sounded like a great recipe for an afternoon! 

I walked to the theater and chose my movie from the vast selection.  The movie didn’t start for 15 minutes, that gave me enough time to score my snacks and choose a seat.  After my snacks were in hand—I walked to theater 6.  Rounding the corner—to my amazement—the rest of the city had the same plan as me.  With the exception of the back two rows —the theater was almost full! 

I walked up the stairs to the second to the last row at the very top.  It was practically empty, as was the very last row next to the wall.  This should be great.  Sitting in comfort and enjoying my snacks, the lighting dimmed and the previews began.  Finally some down time. 

Then what is typical in my world began.

It started with a very large man walking up the stairs and sitting diagonal from me, but against the wall.  There were two seats together on the opposite side of the stairs.  He chose his seat as he mumbled to himself—took off his jacket—his scarf—his hat and his gloves and piled them on the seat next to him.  He then sat down and began to mumble something about the government tapping into his thoughts and he didn’t like it.  As he fidgeted, he stood and took off his sweatshirt and his t-shirt —sat back down—pulled up his pant legs and put his feet up on the chair directly in front of him.  He had white tube socks on which he immediately pulled up over his knees.  He crossed his ankles and now was comfortable.

As the stripper sat mumbling about the government — now comfortable in his chair with his feet up and socks exposed—three 20 something’s walked past me and chose the row behind me.  Two girls and a guy.  They sat down—fidgeted—and began to peel off layers of winter clothing.  Then one by one they headed down the stairs and out of the theatre.  As each returned minutes later—they didn’t have any snacks—and chose to bang against the back of my chair as each passed on their own turn.  Their conversation consisted of how rude people have become in theaters.  Seriously?!

As the preview ended and the movie began—the stripper had now taken his shoes off and put his feet back up on the chair—once again pulling on his socks —apparently over the knee was not good enough as he wanted his socks up to his hips.  Socks do not stretch that far—that irritated him and he began to yell at his socks.

While the stripper was yelling at his uncooperative socks—and the 20 something’s were taking turns leaving and returning to the theater— only to return and discuss how rude people are in theaters these days—another man walked up the stairs in a trench coat—walked past my row and chose the back row a few seats down from the 20 something’s.  Trench coat man wrapped his coat tighter around him and sat down completely bundled up.  He pulled his hat down over his face and looked as though he was trying not to be recognized. 

It was at that moment that I began to look around for cameras.  I had to be on hidden video.  This was just too bizarre even for my world.  Nevertheless, the movie continued on with the stripper yelling at the screen as if he was agitated that it wasn’t answering back and pulling on his socks—the 20 something’s bumping my seat as they continued to leave one by one and return to speak to each other about rude behavior in the theater and the trench coat man hiding in the corner. 

The alternate universe known as theater 6 lasted 2 hours and 6 minutes.  The movie ended and as I walked out —I thought to myself—I’m the most normal person I know! 

The next time you’re feeling down about yourself or going through a stressful time—just go to the theater and look around.  There will be entertainment both on and off the screen!

Happy Holidays everyone!