Do you ever get on an elevator and question if it will go where you want it to?  I never have.  Going to the correct floor is just an assumption I make.  This morning, I did just that.  It started as a normal, uneventful morning.  I hit the button to retrieve the elevator. When the door opened to elevator number 3, I walked in and pressed the button for the lobby level.  Two floors down the elevator stopped and another woman entered.  The doors closed, we started to move again, then the world stopped—in an instant it was dark and still.

Please allow me to digress for just a second.  As a child, my father taught me to always be prepared with a pocket knife, flashlight and screwdriver.  My mother added in the sewing kit, clean panties and something to eat.  Flash back to today when I’m standing in a still, dark elevator.  Notice that I didn’t say ‘silent’.  The reason being that the woman in the elevator was shrieking in panic for all she was worth. Something about too young to die—apparently she had something more important than most to live for.

I immediately reached in my bag to grab my flashlight.  Instantly there was light in the elevator again.  Amidst the shrill of the lady bouncing frantically around, I maneuvered around her —found the alarm button and within seconds the voice of a doorman was heard.  They already knew we were stuck as their alarm had sounded.  They also had a camera to see us in the dark.  Cool feature.  Memo to me—don’t do anything embarrassing in an elevator—Big Brother is watching.  Nonetheless, the emergency crew had already been deployed to retrieve us.

I sat on the elevator floor and began to rummage around in my bag.  I had utilized most of my parent’s advice.  No knife or screwdriver — in the city that could get you arrested.  Clean panties were on!  Flashlight, sewing kit, almonds and — CHOCOLATE!  Just what I needed! It’s better than alcohol and legal to drive while consuming it—no matter how much that is!

As I pulled the wrapper off of the chocolate bar, a burst of energy flew across the elevator; landed in my lap and snatched it from my hand.  It was like a drug addict going in for a fix!  I watched in amazement —her body crossed over mine—as she inhaled my only chocolate bar.  Now what?

Just then, the elevator roof opened and in popped the head of a fireman with a flashlight.  He looked perplexed as I sat on the floor with this strange woman draped across my lap, gulping MY chocolate!  I looked up and said, “hey, what’s up? Welcome to the party!”.  What else could I say?

They were only able to move the elevator down a half of a floor.  Which meant that when the doors opened we were going to be at almost ceiling level of the lobby.  Lucky for me, I had decided to wear a skirt today.  Beautiful.  As they lowered me down out of the elevator and onto the lobby floor, I thought to myself, “thank God I’m wearing panties!”.   There’s positive in everything!  I was also grateful for the words of my mother, “always wear clean, pretty panties!”.

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