Have you ever felt the need to crawl into a sidewalk crack and disappear?  This morning I rolled out of bed at the crack of dawn to go for a morning run.  I’m trying out this healthy thing that everyone seems to boast about.  I’m skeptical that sweating profusely will be more invigorating than a cup of tea and a bagel.  Looking out the window, the sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, it’s going to be a great day!  I couldn’t have ordered better weather!  I changed into my running clothes, grabbed the music box and drug myself out the door.  The things we do to look good. 

 You might have mistaken me for a true city chic!  Jogging along the water, listening to my favorite playlist, developing that runner’s euphoria when I saw— HIM!  Now some of you might be thinking the him that I’m referring to is an Adonis, a man God also working out—jogging with me in the early morning hours.  A man that takes your breath away.  That’s partly correct.  This ‘him’ wasn’t jogging, he did take one’s breath away though.  He sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson River.  What made him unique— he was wearing his birthday suit, a pair of white tube socks, sneakers and—a hat.  The hat had the words “I’m the Boss” on it. 

It took a second for my brain to register.  This man was — NAKED!  Being in New York, I wasn’t sure if I should ignore him, scream or pass out.  I chose to ignore him and attempt to jog anonymously by.  Bad Decision!  As I passed by ‘Him’, he got up and in his full glory swinging, picked up a jog directly behind me! 

Luckily, this early in the morning, there are few people awake, let alone out on the street.  There are even fewer exercising.  Those that were out were stopping and watching in awe and wonder!  Imagine the scene that makes a New Yorker stop and stare!  This was it.  Some were taking pictures, others were waving.  I was trying to keep a faster pace—ignore the situation—and disappear—maybe jumping into the Hudson might be a good option.

Then I saw my morning euphoria—a big, black horse and mounted atop the horse was a police officer!  When ‘Him’ saw the officer, he immediately turned around and started running the other way.  He ran right into another mounted officer and in what seemed mere seconds a swarm of officers were on the scene to take ‘Him’ away. 

Once things had calmed down—I realized that ‘Him’ had only been running behind me for about 500 feet.  That was the longest 500 feet of my life!  If this is how my day is starting—I can’t wait to see what the rest of the day has in store!  I’m thinking tomorrow I’ll go back to the cup of tea and a bagel!

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