It seems as though everyone has their definition of perfect.  The fashion and modeling world create pictures of it.  Medicine creates ways of surgically altering to create it.  If you want a new nose, lips, chest, stomach, cheeks, even a butt there are surgical ways to alter yourself.  Perfection can now be purchased.

What is perfection though?  Is it merely how we look aesthetically?  Do we ever consider perfection on a level deeper than a puddle?

With the invent of social media, pictures of everything are floating around.  One can create an alternate life of what exists in reality.  There are marriages of unimaginable happiness portrayed in pictures and comments, which in reality are loveless and miserable.  Families whose parents portray them lovingly, who have children resenting them.  Businesses gloating over a “Best Places to Work” title, while employees feel unappreciated and abused.

Why is it so important to create a false sense of reality?  Perfection.  Everyone is reaching for the title.

What is perfection though?  Is it achievable merely aesthetically by the DNA you are dealt, or something much deeper?

If it’s merely by a lucky draw of DNA, then why are people given the title of beautiful sometimes depressed, alone and isolated?  If it’s based on a bank book, why are some people with more money than God himself who have the ability to have vulgar displays of wealth so unhappy?

I grew up with several children whose parents were extremely wealthy.  There was money to buy literally anything.  And yet, they resented their parent’s control.  Love was not something they truly knew.  It was more something they learned to “show”.  Values on gifts defined the amount of love involved.

So many people today look at life in a funnel.  They take what they can, thinking only of their own needs.  Their idea of perfection based on the number of likes, balance in their account, weight measurement on a scale, or their ability to take a beautiful picture of themself.

Is that where we are as a society?  Are we more interested in what we look like than what we are made of?

I once had an executive find a motivational book on “grit”.  The word was a novelty to him.  So much so, he bought everyone a copy of the book.  He spoke about it every chance he had.  Like an epiphany had swooped down and opened his world.  Where I grew up in the rural Midwest, grit was a word we knew from birth.  We heard it from our grandparents, parents, coaches —whomever was pushing us at that moment to bolt past pain or exhaustion.  Yet a grown man, married with children of his own, had never heard the word.

Ever watched people?  Try watching people board a plane sometime.  For some, they must believe the plane will depart without them, as they are pushing and shoving to get to the front of the line and on the plane first.  Years ago, I noticed a guy, muscular, lots of ink, very easy on the eyes.  Women in the airport were drooling over him.  When they called the flight to board, he jumped up pushing over two women—ran to be first at the gate—knocking over an elderly woman on a cane standing next to me.  Had I not caught her, she would have gone down.  He did not stop and help, didn’t say “excuse me”—his focus was to be first on the plane.  He had the manners of a swamp rat.  In that moment, when his inner person came out—his lack of manners—narcissistic behavior—he was not attractive at all.  His inner darkness showed through.  Hardly perfection.

In our quest to be perfect, what do we leave behind?  The past always gives up its secrets—one way or another.  Truth always surfaces and typically when you least expect it.

About a year ago, I found my biological brothers.  Growing up, I always wished for siblings I could be proud of.  Siblings when I walked in the door, I was elated to see.  Never did I ever in my wildest dreams think my wish would come true.  Can I just say, getting a hug from my middle brother can cause me to float for days.  He is truly an amazing individual, whose smile can light up my day.

Our parents never thought our lives would ever connect, lucky for us they did.  The how we found each other is irrelevant.  What is important is that it happened.

In your quest for perfection, maybe think about things other than weight, or beauty.  Remember the movie, “Shallow Hal”?  When Tony Robbins gave Hal the ability to see people for who they really are, instead of aesthetic beauty.  It was a gift.  If you were seen daily as your true inner person—take away the aesthetics—how would you look?  Would you have inner beauty—or would people run screaming from you?

Think about if you’re as deep as a puddle—focusing on things that define what you look like to others.  Or if you’re an ocean with a series of beautiful caves to explore.

Perfection isn’t on the surface.  Grit isn’t something you can learn about in a book.  It’s buried within your core and comes out in your fire.  It’s a part of what drives us.

What if perfection was defined by something more within our control such as our honesty?  The ability to look into your friend’s eyes and see their trust in your word.  The ability to know you are an honorable, trustworthy person.  When you look in your partner’s eyes and know they see your integrity.

The power of honesty, loyalty, trust and honor.

What if perfection was wrapped around these four qualities?

Would you be anywhere near perfect?

Stay healthy!