Traveling has become an interesting experience at best.  If you can manage to check your bags—get through security without being scrutinized by the TSA—and get to your gate without being run over by a lunatic with a roller board, then consider yourself lucky!

 Today I’m traveling to a friend’s wedding.  I apparently wasn’t thinking clearly when I agreed to fly half way across the country to primp up—wear uncomfortable shoes for an entire day —in the middle of nowhere—all while smiling for pictures.  The bride is a childhood friend, so the positive spin is that I get to see her as well as my family. 

I managed to get my bag checked and get through security without any delays.  Score!  My flight was delayed about 45 minutes, which gave me time to peruse the essential travel necessities—magazines and chocolate.

I made my selections and headed to my gate.  Everything was going great!  Closing the distance to my gate, I noticed a Starbucks directly adjacent with no line!  Another score!  Immediately my favorite caffeinated beverage was in hand!  Now off to the gate!

 Boarding started to commence.  Everyone fell in single file into formation to board the plane.  It has always amazed me what people carry on to a plane.  Have you ever noticed?  With the new charges for checked bags—the carry ons are even more entertaining. 

 As I awaited my turn to give my boarding pass, an agitated woman was attempting to stuff a roller board into the pre-fabricated “this is the size your carry on can be” metal frame.  If you have flown, then you’ve seen these mock-up frames before.  If your bag doesn’t fit —you have to check it. 

 The woman was frantically attempting to stuff the taller board into the frame.  It wasn’t working.  She pulled out a hair dryer and several other things—then snapped at the gate agent.  “It fits now!”  She barked.  “No it does not!” The agent barked back. 

 Every sane person knows the power of an airline employee these days.  Argue with any of them and you may find yourself unable to fly—for life.  This woman apparently missed that memo.  She wedged the roller board out of the metal mock-up — barked “it fits!” at the gate attendant and proceeded onto the jet bridge behind me in line. 

 That’s when security became involved.  As they tackled the woman—she grabbed my arm screaming—the security guards, the woman and myself all hit the wall then the floor of the jet bridge.  How did I become a part of this? 

 Immediately the woman had a security tie on her wrists and ankles.  She was hog tied.  They picked her up like a package from the feet and wrists—off she went screaming.  The agent following behind with her roller board.

 I continued onto the plane—my bridesmaid dress hanging on one arm.  It gave great cushion when I hit the floor of the jet bridge.  I found my seat—the chocolate was in hand.  This was going to be an interesting trip.

 You have to love the “friendly” skies!  Wheels up!